Sunday, 29 November 2009
Saturday, 28 November 2009
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Wednesday, 25 November 2009
So, we know just by looking at this image that this is wrong.
The question is this: Who is most responsible a). The prick doing the jumping. b). The parents of the babies, or c). The spectators, who, if you follow their eyes, know what they want to see…….mashed babies!
In the top right hand corner the kid in pink don’t give a shit and the boy is the only one looking at the jumper, thinking “hmmmm yellow is a pretty cool colour.”
Monday, 23 November 2009
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .. . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is..
10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away.
Check out George Carlin's videos on Youtube, they are all good.
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Monday, 9 November 2009
Women’s brains are in their head, men’s brains are situated in another organ of their body. Both sets of brains were programmed in the dim and distant past around the time of Barbie and Ken Flintstone. Back then dating and mating was a bit of a rush job, mostly because a.) There were a lot of aggressive animals about and b.) There weren’t a lot of people around. So Ken, using his “brains” had to make some quick decisions like: Does she fancy me? Is she young? Is she healthy? Will she make babies? If she ticked all the boxes it was a swift blow with his club, over his shoulder and back to the cave.
So when Ken Flintstone, Barney and their mates were sitting around the campfire after the hunt they discussed the issues of the day: Who would win a fight between a sabre tooth tiger and a Macedon? Who could piss the furthest? And who was the perfect woman? On the last question they were all agreed, it was Barbie.
As men don’t do a lot of thinking due to the location of their brains, they never reviewed their decision. To this day, men like a blonde bombshell.
Even in recent times there was Marylyn Barbie and since the 80’s we’ve had Madonna Barbie.
Little girls love Barbie, they want to look like Barbie, they soooo get it. If Barbie looks nice she can get Ken to do anything she wants.
Even big girls and women want to look like Barbie, young, small waist, large breasts, long blond hair, and blue eyes. Why shouldn’t they? In the relationship/ dating market they are only reacting to the demand of all the Kens who want to mate with women who look like Barbie. There is evolutionary logic behind each of her features.
Younger women are healthier than older ones and are more likely to make babies. One accurate indicator of health is physical attractiveness.
Men also have a universal preference for women with a low waist-to-hip ratio. They are healthier and more fertile than other women; they have an easier time conceiving a child and do so at earlier ages because they have larger amounts of essential reproductive hormones.
Thus men are unconsciously seeking healthier and more fertile women when they seek women with small waists.
Until very recently, it was a mystery to scientists why Kens like big tits, because size hasn’t any effect on lactation. Then some genius worked it out that standy-uppy tits indicate youth, whilst heavier older tits sag with age. Thus looking at tits is easier for Ken to guess Barbie’s age and her baby making value by sight.
Alternatively, men may prefer women with large breasts for the same reason they prefer women with small waists. A new study of Polish women shows that women with large breasts and tight waists have the greatest reproductive capacity, indicated by their levels of the reproductive hormones, estradiol and progesterone.
Blond hair is unique in that it changes dramatically with age. Usually, young girls with blond hair become women with brown hair. Because hair grows slowly, shoulder-length hair reveals several years of a woman's health status. Thus, men who prefer to mate with blond women are unconsciously attempting to mate with younger, healthier and more fertile women.
Blue eyes shouldn’t be any different from green or brown eyes, but preference for blue eyes seems both universal and undeniable, in males as well as females. A woman’s eye dilates when she sees something she likes. The pupils of women and babies, but not men, dilate when they see babies. Pupil dilation is an honest indicator of interest and attraction. The size of the pupil is easiest to determine in blue eyes. Blue-eyed people are considered attractive as potential mates because it is easiest to determine whether they are interested in us or not.
The irony is that none of the above is true any longer. Through face-lifts, wigs, liposuction, tit jobs, hair dye, and colour contact lenses, any woman, regardless of age, can have many of the key features that define Barbie and men fall for them. Men can cognitively understand that many blond women with firm, large breasts are not actually 18 years old, but they still find them attractive because their evolved psychological mechanisms are fooled by modern inventions that didn’t exist back in the day.
“What’s this got to do with Suicide bombers?” I hear you say, so here’s the thing. Judeo-Christian/1st world/European/English-speaking civilisation got this organised from the get-go. To avoid disappointment there is a limit of one Barbie per customer. By law we have monogamy.
Western civilization aside, humans beings are naturally polygamous. Polyandry (a marriage of one woman to many men) is very rare, verging on non-existent.
...but polygyny (the marriage of one man to many women) is common in human societies.
Judeo-Christian traditions hold that monogamy is the only natural form of marriage. When you think about it, it is kind of fair. The Barbie/Ken birth rate is about 50/50ish, so pretty much, there’s someone for everyone
Polygyny makes men "winners" and "losers" in the reproductive game because it allows a few Kens to monopolize all the Barbies in the group. The greater fitness variance among Kens creates greater pressure for Kens to compete with each other for Barbies.
In societies where rich Kens are much richer than poor Kens, Barbie and her children are better off sharing the few wealthy Kens; one-half, one-quarter, or even one-tenth of a wealthy Ken is still better than an entire poor Ken. As George Bernard Shaw puts it, "The maternal instinct leads a woman to prefer a tenth share in a first-rate man to the exclusive possession of a third-rate one."
Despite the fact that humans are naturally polygynous, most industrial societies are monogamous because Kens tend to be more or less equal in their resources compared with their ancestors in medieval times.
When there is resource inequality among Kens, the case in every human society, most Barbies benefit from polygyny: Barbies can share a wealthy Ken. Under monogamy, they are stuck with marrying a poorer Ken.
The only exceptions are extremely desirable Barbies. Under monogamy, they can monopolize the wealthiest Kens.
Under polygyny, they must share the Kens with other, less desirable Barbies. However, the situation is exactly opposite for Ken. Monogamy guarantees that every Ken can find a Barbie. True, less desirable Kens can marry only less desirable Barbies, but that's much better than not marrying anyone at all.
Kens in monogamous societies imagine they would be better off under polygyny. What they don't realize is that, for most Kens who are not extremely desirable, polygyny means no Barbie at all, or, if they are lucky, a Barbie who is much less desirable than one they could get under monogamy.
So here’s the problem. Islam is the only major religion that tolerates polygyny. By allowing some Kens to monopolize all the Barbies and altogether excluding many Kens from reproductive opportunities, polygyny creates shortages of available women. If 50 percent of Kens have two Barbies each, then the other 50 percent don't get any Barbies at all.
So polygyny increases competitive pressure on the Kens, especially young Kens of low status. It therefore increases the likelihood that young Kens resort to violent means to gain access to Barbies. By doing so, they have little to lose and much to gain compared with Kens who already have Barbies. Across all societies, polygyny makes Ken violent, increasing crimes such as murder and rape, even allowing for such obvious factors as economic development, economic inequality, population density, the level of democracy, and political factors in the region.
Suicide missions are not always religiously motivated, but when religion is involved, it is always Muslim. Why is this? Why is Islam the only religion that motivates its followers to commit suicide bombings?
The surprising answer from the evolutionary psychological perspective is that Muslim suicide bombing may have nothing to do with Islam or the Koran (except for two lines in it). It may have nothing to do with the religion, politics, culture, race, ethnicity, language, or region. As with everything else from this perspective, it may have a lot to do with sex, or, in this case, absence of sex.
OK, so polygyny itself is not a sufficient cause of suicide bombing. Societies in sub-Saharan Africa are much more polygynous than the Muslim nations in the Middle East and North Africa and they do have very high levels of violence. Sub-Saharan Africa suffers from continuous civil wars, but not suicide bombings.
So what is it what reason that Muslims alone do it? It’s the 72 virgins awaiting martyrs in paradise that’s what. No! I hear you say that’s bollocks. Yeah, well you are reading this in a 1st world country where sex is pretty much easy to come by.
The prospect of exclusive access to virgins may not be so appealing to anyone who has even one mate on earth, which strict monogamy virtually guarantees. However, the prospect is quite appealing to anyone who faces the bleak reality on earth of being a complete reproductive loser.
It is the combination of polygyny and the promise of a large harem of virgins in heaven that motivates many young Muslim men to commit suicide bombings. Consistent with this explanation, all studies of suicide bombers indicate that they are significantly younger than not only the Muslim population in general but other (non-suicidal) members of their own extreme political organizations like Hamas and Hezbollah. And nearly all suicide bombers are single.