GRUMPY'S ADVICE FOR THIS MONTH.

BIGGLES ALWAYS FELT A STRANGE SENSATION COME OVER HIM WHENEVER COLONEL HAMILTON-SMYTH WAS NEARBY.

WHY USE THE GREEN BIN?

Recycling is an important way for people to reduce the waste they generate and reduce the negative impact of that waste. Recycling conserves our natural resources, saves landfill space, conserves energy, and reduces water pollution, air pollution, and the green house gas emissions that cause global warming.

THE SOLUTION TO CATCH 22, IF YOU CAN'T BE ARSED TO READ THE BOOK.

JESUS REALLY NEEDS A TALL, HALF-CAFF, SKINNY SOY, DOUBLE FRAPPUCCINO, WITH AN EXTRA SHOT OF ROSE SCENTED SYRUP, TO START THE DAY.

BACK IN THE DAY #14. A RARE IMAGE OF JOAN COLLINS WHEN SHE WORKED AS A POLE DANCER IN EGYPT.

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION PROBLEM #3. "I SAW PELE'S ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION COMMERCIAL ON TV, I SENT AWAY FOR THE PRODUCT AND IT SURE DID THE TRICK FOR ME."

2012 IS THE END OF THE WORLD....EVERYONE KNOWS THAT....RIGHT?

This is "The World" a map of the world built from reclaimed land, in the sea 2Km off of the coast of the United Arab Emirates.
They were doing a roaring trade selling the countries of the world as property investments. However, the investors have seen their properties collapsing and the land is falling back into the sea.
If nothing else the project is unlucky. Lawsuits are whizzing around between everyone involved. The owner of Ireland hasn't just seen his island collapse, so has his business, which has gone bankrupt and the guy who paid $60M for Great Britain has just started a 7 year sentence in a British jail for fraud.
What I found amusing was the statement from the developers which said that the project wasn't exactly dead....more like in a coma!


This is the Mayan calendar and it's what all the fuss is about. As anyone who can translate ancient Mayan calendar language will tell you, the end of time is next year, more precisely, on the winter solstice, on December 21st….right?
We've had prophesies in films and books for years now freaking us all out. All the film makers and authors of these works do have one thing in common....They don't read ancient Mayan calendar language.


Here's a reality check. First off, the Mayans are not a mysterious ancient people that disappeared from history. They are still there. They make up the population of Central America. If you are one of the thousands of tourists that visited Cancun in Mexico last year then Mayans cooked your breakfast and made your bed.


When the apocalyptic disaster movie 2012 was released, the Daily Telegraph interviewed Jesus....No not that one, but Jesus Gomez, head of the Guatemalan confederation of Mayan priests and spiritual guides. He said:

"There is no concept of apocalypse in the Mayan culture,"

It turns that the calendar doesn’t prophesy anything. 2012 is simply the end of the calendar and just like everyone else who's calendar has run out....They’ll just get a new one.

If you think about it, to try to make it rain, they threw virgins down wells and literally tore the hearts out of their own people in human sacrifices, on top of their pyramids.
It still didn't rain....yet they kept on doing it. How smart was that?

ANDY GRAY AND RICHARD KEYES ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES, THE ROCK DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WOMEN REFEREES EITHER

IMAGES FROM THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE #2.

THE LOVE THAT DARE NOT SPEAK IT'S NAME....IT CAN, IT CALLS ITSELF FORMICOPHILIA.

PAPER DELIVERY ROUND IN HELL

IN THE GULF OF MEXICO, BLACK IS THE NEW PINK AND BROWN.

PIE CHART #4.

THE CONSPIRACY THEORY THAT CINDERELLA IS REALLY DEAD WILL NOT GO AWAY.

It's over 40 years since this iconic photograph was taken, but many fans of the Disney princesses are still convinced that there are clues in this image to show that Cinderella was killed and replaced by a Canadian military policewoman in the 1960's.
A spokesman for Prince Charming issued a statement recently which explained the confusion:

"Of course Princess Cinderella's appearance and clothes changed. Not many people know this, but the princess has a fairy godmother who cast a magic spell to give her the makeover.
Cinderella's apparent change of height, was as a result of the princess wearing a pair of glass slippers which her fairy godmother magically created for her.
Both the Prince and the Princess are anxious to put this matter behind them and just get on with their lives"

A post on the website "Cinderella is dead" said:

"We are dubious, it sounds like a fairy story to us."

MEDIEVAL COWBOY BUILDERS

THE BOOK "1984" IN ONE IMAGE, IF YOU CAN'T BE ARSED TO READ IT.

"MAD MEN'S" CHRISTINA HENDRICKS BEFORE SHE HAD HER PROSTHETIC LEG FITTED.

OUT OF THE MOUTHS ( OR PENCILS ) OF CHILDREN.

STUPID PARENTS #4

Thanks to Helen.

BACK IN THE DAY #13. YOU KNEW YOU WERE POOR IF YOU HAD "SLOT TV".

GRUMPY CAN CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS #2.

GOOGLE EARTH FINDS THE SECRET ALIEN BASE.

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION PROBLEM #2.

An Australian woman has been "disfellowshipped"(?) from her church until the erectile dysfunction advertisment she starred in is taken off the air.


The advertisment features a woman who uses her husband's newly erect penis as a step-ladder to reach a cookie-jar over the refrigerator. The actress, Libby Ashby, admits that the ad was in bad taste, but that she needed the money and that her "Visa was calling out for mercy."

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

CELEBRITY MUGSHOTS #2.

"There must be some kinda way out of here"


"Free at last! free at last! I want to say to God Almighty, I am free at last!"

>
"I'll be missing you."


"Fame, what you get is no tomorrow."


He should have stayed home alone.

HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE LONG RUN, BUT LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW #2

A PUNK ROCKER SEEN OUT WITH HIS MATES, WEARING HIS CELINE DION JACKET, BECAUSE HIS BARRY MANILOW ONE WAS IN THE CLEANERS.

THE "FRINGE" POSTER PUZZLE.

This is the poster from the second series of the TV show “Fringe”, which, if you haven't seen it, has been described as "The X-files" meets "CSI".
The producers, FOX, have announced that it is more than just a poster, it’s a puzzle to find 16 hidden objects from the show’s past and future episodes.
If you play and you find all 16 hidden objects, you might like to try and solve the previous Fringe poster (image 2). FOX says there is a hidden word in last year’s “Fringe” poster that nobody has ever noticed, which will be a clue, to be revealed later in the series.
You have got to admit that FOX and their advertising agency must be delighted that they have got so many people staring at their poster for so long.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER....GIRAFFES DO.

CONSUMER NEWS #13. BARBIE RECOMMENDS FAIRY FOR REMOVING THOSE AWKWARD STAINS IN THE KITCHEN.

NO DNA TEST NEEDED.

LIVERPOOL FANS ARE HAPPY THAT KENNY DALGLISH IS THE MANAGER AGAIN.